14 Values that Godly Couples Have (Part 3)

I was cleaning out our storage barn a few weeks ago and found notes from a Southern Seminary professor's class named Dr. Tackett. In honor of Becki and I's recent anniversary, I thought I would share 14 values that Godly Couples have over posts. I did not come up with these value, they comes from the research of my professor that he did and from his time researching wit Dr. John Gottman. The Gottman Institute can predict with amazing accuracy those couples who will be divorced. Please note that I have rephrased these 14 values to be easier to read and understand.

10.  Godly couples do not repay evil for evil, but overcome it with good. (1 Peter 3:9)

• Couples must move past the stage in their relationship of seeing the differing opinion of their spouse as infringement, but as a way to understand their mate better. When we are misunderstood we often sense the we are missing something. There is a call from scripture to learn to live as a living sacrifice to God; the Spirit is needed to help couples think more like scripture calls us to think. When there is constant fighting, each spouse struggles to believe that God is transforming their mate.

11.  Godly couples are in a continual cycle of forgiveness and reconciliation. (2 Cor. 5:17-6:1)

• Every couple will have verbal fights and conflict, but it is the Godly couple who will realize that they must be a minister of reconciliation, especially in marital life. Here are some steps in the process:

1. They seek to bring spiritual and marital reconciliation. They move the focus off their spouse's sin to their own sin.
2. In the early steps the spouse becomes deeply remorseful about their own sin.
3. The deep sense of remorse is expressed in a vulnerable confession of sin and is an invitation to respond in kindness.
4. Generally this invitation is given 2-5 times before the other spouse responds constructively and joins them.
5. Once this deep sense of remorse occurs in both they ask for forgiveness.
6. Godly couples are consciously extending the rose of thankfulness to their spouse. (Eph. 1:16 & 5:20)

12.  Godly couples will consciously experience thankfulness in their marriage. 

• We must see thankfulness like the rose spring that brings a beauty and aroma that is pleasing to all. Kudzu on the other had is fast growing and difficult to kill. Kudzu could be compared to the negative sentiments we have for our spouses, if left unchecked it will destroy any possibility of healthy growth for the marriage. These couple are deeply thankful for each other.  Because thankfulness chokes out self centeredness in a marriage and helps each spouse over looks little sins. When we live this way, in a state of continuous thankfulness for our spouse, we find it difficult to see the little negative things that they do.