10 Things To Do Before You Leave Your Church

I recently received a question about leaving a church from someone who is not a member of our church. Leaving a church is something that should not be taken lightly. When we join a church we are making a covenant with those who are part of that church. We are joining a family! Often times people will abandon their church for petty reasons. However, there are times when it becomes necessary to leave a church for the sake of one’s own conscience, or out of duty to obey God rather than men. The Bible gives the following reasons: heresy from the pulpit (Gal. 1:7-9), leaders of the church tolerate seriously errant doctrine (Rom. 16:17), Unholy living is tolerated in the church (1 Cor. 5:9-11), If the church is seriously out of step with the biblical pattern for church (2 Thess. 3:6, 14), and if the church is marked by gross hypocrisy, giving lip service to biblical Christianity but refusing to acknowledge its power (2 Tim. 3:5).

1. Pray.

2. Let your current pastor know about your thinking before you move to another church or make your decision to relocate to another city. Ask for his counsel. You may not want to do this, but it is helpful for you both.

3. Weigh your motives. Is your desire to leave because of sinful, personal conflict or disappointment? If it’s because of doctrinal reasons, are these doctrinal issues significant? You may need to seek council from someone who is more mature. We can often deceive ourselves, because the heart is desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9).

4. Do everything within your power to reconcile any broken relationships, church leadership included!

5. Be sure to consider all the “evidences of grace” you’ve seen in the church’s life- places where God’s work is evident. If you cannot see any evidences of God’s grace, you might want to examine your own heart once more (Matt. 7:3-5).

6. Be humble. Recognize you don’t have all the facts and assess people and circumstances charitably (give them the benefit of the doubt).

7. Don’t divide the body. There may be good times to divide, like if there is heresy being preached, but overall do not use your absence or threat of absence as a power play to get what you want.

8. Take the uttermost care not to sow discontentment even among your closest friends. Remember, you don’t want anything to hinder their growth in grace in the church. Deny any desire to gossip (sometimes referred to as “venting” or “saying how you feel” or “getting it off your chest”).

9. Pray for and bless the congregation and its leadership. Look for ways of doing this practically.

10. If there has been hurt, then forgive- even as you have been forgiven.

This list was adapted from Mark Dever's book "What is a Healthy Church?"