14 Values that Godly Couples Have! (Part 1)

I was cleaning out our storage barn over Memorial Day Weekend and found notes from Dr Tackett's Class, a class I took in seminary. Dr. Tackett taught on the subject of Christian Counseling at the time. In honor of Becki and I's recent anniversary, I thought I would share 14 values that Godly Couples have over the next four weeks. I did not come up with these value, they came from the research of my professor that he did and from his time researching wit Dr. John Gottman. The Gottman Institute can predict with amazing accuracy those couples who will be divorced. Please not that I have rephrased these 14 values to be easier to read and understand.

1.  Godly couples understand that Christ is the only foundation for a Christ Marriage. (Lk 6:46-49; Matt 7:24-27)

• Godly couples do not buy into the cultural goal, that marriage is for personal satisfaction.  These couples are very affirming that their lives are not about themselves, but instead about who God is and how God works.  These couples understand that their marriages are a means to make them holy not just happy.

2.  Godly couples value their friendship with each other.

• Godly couples experience a deep and abiding friendship with each other and it is founded on what Christ is doing in their lives. Your best friend on this planet should be your spouse.

3.  Godly couples realize that "I am a marital sinner, specifically I sin against my spouse and God."

• There is a real honesty about one's sin, both spouses know that they are only one sin away from entering a pattern of sin that will destroy their marriage and their family. They take their sin personally and seriously. (see Romans 7:15-20)

4.  Godly couples understand that little sins lead to big ones. (1 Cor. 5:6-8)

• Big doors swing on small hinges.  It takes numerous little sins to lead to the big sins of an affair. These sins might be of omission (sins of not doing something when we should have) not commission (sins of doing something when we shouldn't have done anything). Godly couples are sin detectives in their own lives, searching out their motives and thinking patterns for sin.

5.  Godly couples understand the value of personal responsibility. (Gal. 6:1-10)

• Godly Couples believe that they are responsible before God and each other for their marriage. These couples believe they are responsible before God and each other for the future of their marriage. If they sow sin they will reap divorce.

The Sin of Presumption vs. Blessed Assurance

"You believe that God is one; you do well. The demons also believe- and they shudder." 

                                                             -James 2:9

Yesterday, I preached on the importance of having a biblical understanding of conversion. One thing that deeply concerns me as a pastor is people who think they are converted when really they are not. I believe that there are many who are convinced they are saved, but are far from God. Here are a couple of observations from the above text.

1. There is a type of believe in God and/or Jesus that does not save you.

This is a biblical principle that Jesus clearly taught in Matthew 7:21-23 which says:

"Not everyone who says to me, "Lord, Lord!" will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of My Father in heaven. On that day many will say to Me, "Lord Lord, didn't we prophesy in Your name, drive out demons in Your name, and do many miracles in your name?" Then I will announce to them, "I never knew you! Depart from me, you lawbreakers!"

In my time as a pastor I have seen men who were presumptuous about God's grace. Men who were drunk off their own pride, and from that proudly proclaim in a salvation that their lives did not reflect. Men who would loudly and proudly proclaim of this salvation to others, and thought it a sin to ever doubt it. These same men also did extensive damage to the church they were in, untold damage over the years. Men like those mentioned in Matthew 7:21-23, may perhaps be Satan's most effective tool in destroying local churches and disrupting Kingdom work. Having a saving faith in Jesus is more than just mental acceptance or moral resolve.

2. There is a type of believe in God and/or Jesus that does save you.

Praise be to God that we can have assurance. Assurance is different from presumption in that it is built on reliance on Jesus Christ. I would argue from passages like 1 John 5:13, where the apostle wants to remind us that we can have assurance. A life that is living in assurance of our salvation will be marked by humility, teachability, and endurance. I pray for all those in my pastoral care who struggle to have the assurance described by the apostle John. Do not be quick to agree with the enemy when he comes to remind you of your sin.

Encouraging Truth for Moms and Dads

"1 Unless the Lord builds a house, its builders labor over it in vain; unless the Lord watches over a city, the watchman stays alert in vain. 2 In vain you get up early and stay up late, working hard to have enough food— yes, He gives sleep to the one He loves. 3 Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord , children, a reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the sons born in one’s youth. 5 Happy is the man who has filled his quiver with them. Such men will never be put to shame when they speak with their enemies at the city gate . 1 How happy is everyone who fears the Lord , who walks in His ways!" 

-Psalm 127-128:1

This past week was Mother's Day, and I preached a message that would encourage our mothers. I would like to share three truths from Psalm 127- 128 that would encourage mothers and fathers everywhere. Psalm 127 was usually read at the celebration after a birth. It is considered to be a wisdom psalm, that teaches how to live rightly.

1. Replace your Self Confidence as a parent with God Confidence. (Psalm 127:1-2)

Note how the author depends on God in the above verses, "Unless the LORD builds" and "Unless the LORD watches." We must realize that we cannot build our houses on our own. God wants to undermine our self confidence and replace it with faith in God confidence. Please remember being a good mother or father does not depend on our work, effort, labor, getting it right, strength and ability, but it depends on the grace of God. Remember the times you got it right as a parent? please remember that it was God who enabled those moments to happen. God gave you the ability to sacrifice, comfort, celebrate and discipline correctly. Remember we have a sin nature that is very self centered with fierce appetites. Without God's common grace that He gives to everyone, we would all constantly mess up parenting.

2. See your Children for Who and What they really are. (Psalm 127:3-5)

We are all vulnerable to lies about our children and parenthood. Many in our world are not welcoming to children and children are viewed as disposable. Or the other extreme, children are idolized and worshiped, as extension of their parents. The Word says that children are a "gift" or an "inheritance." In addition to this, children are described as "arrows." Please note that we don't just want to create straight arrows, that is arrows that keep their nose clean and pay their taxes on time. We want to create arrows that hit the targets that God has laid out in His Word. We want arrows that will sink deep into the heart of the enemies of God. We are raising Children who will be pastors, missionaries, deacons, teachers, evangelist, and faithful followers of Christ no matter their vocation.

3. Build your motherhood/parenthood around a healthy fear of God.

Early on in my faith, the idea of the fear of God was very confusing to me. Since then I have come to see that true fear of God is a childlike fear. Fear of God is a holy respect and growing love. Scriptures teaches that fear and love of God are companion emotions. We need to run to God in total dependence. Fearing God reflects a life of submission to God's will. When it comes to our life as a parent, we must not build it around the opinions of others, our reputation, our comfort and ease, avoiding failure, but we must orient our parenting around the fear of God.

The Buckle of the Meth Belt?

"An ever increasing craving for an ever diminishing pleasure is the formula. . . . To get a man’s soul and give him nothing in return–that’s what really gladdens Our Father’s heart.(In Reference to Satan)" -The Demon Screwtape 

C. S. Lewis’s The Screwtape Letters (p. 44)

I love Tennessee! I was born here, and when I die I want to be buried here! That is why it breaks my heart that we are no longer the buckle of the Bible belt, but we are now the buckle of the Meth Belt. The above quote is from C.S. Lewis' book The Screwtape Letters, this is a section in which one demon is instructing another on how to destroy human souls. Almost every Monday at the associational office there is something called "The Pastor's Conference." It is a time when area pastors come together, share prayer concerns, sing praise, and listen to preaching or a guest speaker. This past Monday, April 28, 2014, Sherriff Chris Mathes from Carter County came and spoke to us about a battle that is being fought in our county. Here in Carter County we are locked in a war on Methamphetamine or Meth for short. Sherriff Mathes gave us a quote from a meth user to help us understand the pull. The meth addict said,

"Do you remember being a small boy, and skinned up your knee? How your mother would come and dust you off. There was no better peace. Nothing else in the world mattered. That is what being on meth is like."

Here is some of the information that he shared with us.

· 2010 the Meth Problem hit North East Tennessee

· Tennessee recently passed Missouri in Meth usage making our state number 1 in the United States

· Carter County is #5 in the State of Tennessee for Meth Labs ceased in 2013

· Meth labs are now advanced to the point where they can fit into a back pack

· Mountain Dew Bottles are preferred for cooking meth, please steer clear of any you find on the side of the road

· It is estimated that 75% of the purchases of sinus medication like Sudafed, is used for cooking meth.

· The purchase of $32.77 of materials will make one gram of meth work an estimated $125

· 1 in 3 children in Foster Care in the state of Tennessee is the result of a meth lab bust

I am writing this to let you know that our Sherriff not only fighting this battle, but is trying to help those caught in the cycle. We need to help. Pray for our Sherriff Department and their officers. Please know that there are programs that we can get those who are in need on, like "Red Legacy" or "Get Clean and Stay Clean". Meth is killer, if you know someone caught in this, get them help ASAP, their life is on the line. I have asked Sherriff Mathes to come and share with us about this problem on Sunday Night July 20 at 7:00 PM. Please try to make this presentation.